I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
