Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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