just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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