Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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