Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
