Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
