Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
