i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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