Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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