the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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