You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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