The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
sex in a hospital.. check
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize