y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
