Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
