Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
The adults are the big ones right?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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