I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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