he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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