dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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