I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
