She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
MIDGETS
????
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
