Whats the glycemic index on semen?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
