But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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