What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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