she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
