found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
