Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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