im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
