the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
