In the future we'll all be gay
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
My boob is missing a layer of skin
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Randomize
