We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
The convent might be a nice break from real life
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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