I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
