she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
