May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
