Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
