Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
