Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
