this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
