If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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