Tell her she can't have a vagina
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
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