Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
