Rock
Scissors
Fuck
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
