i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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