Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
