yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
