i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
