So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
