why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
