Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
