what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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