If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
did i walk over a car last night?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Boobs speak an international language.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize