is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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