The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Randomize
