Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
