Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
