Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
