Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
If I die, sorry about rent.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
