Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
her vagine was all disorganized.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
