dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
