the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
