i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
