so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
