Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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