before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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