that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
