He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Randomize